Maybe it's because Taylor Swift's new album just dropped, or because life has just been such a shit-show lately, but I'm feeling super annoyed and emotional and sentimental and shit. It sucks. In true T-Swift fashion, I'm one of those people who feel things quite intensely and all too dramatically. Again, it sucks. Some days I hate myself for it, some days I'm like "eh, it is what it is." Someone will love me for it one day, right?
Here's the thing on my mind lately. I've known a fair share of my friends to fall for the guy who is just. not. dateable. Whether it be because he's not a relationship guy, he has a girlfriend or consistent f*** buddy, or he's just a plain douche but you love him anyway, there is always going to be one guy you fall for that is not available to you. Here's the kicker! You spend copious amounts of your time being an idiot and annoyed and pissed off over it when he will literally never be yours. Unfortunately building a bridge and getting over the dreamboat eyes and perfect hair is easier said than done. Am I right?
It's a vicious cycle. You meet him, you like him, you meet his girlfriend, you automatically try to be nice while not-so-subtly thinking horrible thoughts about her in your head. You list all the reasons why you two would be better together than they are. Why he would be happier with you. He has more fun with you. He smiles and laughs with you. And this is where we trick ourselves. You could have countless fond memories and good times with him, but at the end of each day, month, year even, he's still not yours. And that's not going to change. It's unrequited love/likeness/fondness at it's finest. And it sucks for all of us who hold out hope that one day he'll wake up and realize it. If you can say you've never been there, then you're one of the lucky ones.
The worst part of all of it is you don't ever learn your lesson until it's too late. Whether you end up in bed with him one drunken night to find that he's not the guy you thought he was, or you just become so fed up with yourself for liking him that you end up miserable at all times, you're losing. You don't realize he's not worth it until you're texting your best friend the next day saying, "Well, I f***ed up." Literally. And then you'll fall right back into old habits the second he looks your way because that's "just how it goes" between you two. It's not your fault. Bad habits are hard to break, especially when they're fun! But they're bad habits nonetheless. When you like the "undateable" guy, he becomes your biggest fault. And he doesn't even know it 99% of the time! You put yourself through hell over him and he's still sleeping with his girlfriend on the daily. Fair? I don't think so.
These guys though? The ones with the smolder and the stare, the ones who turn you into the most pathetic woman alive the second they walk through the door, they're just. not. dateable. They don't care if they've just cheated on their girlfriend, they're too busy feeling good about themselves because someone who's not their girlfriend is into them. And the moment you get out of his bed, or you walk home alone, or you legit start crying to a Taylor Swift song (or worse, a Sam Smith song), or God forbid his girlfriend finds out, you realize that he's not worth it. He's not worth feeling like shit over. You're headed home with a mind full of troubling thoughts about not just him, but yourself, and he's going straight back to bed with her, not a freaking care in the world. Their girlfriends will figure it out soon-- that the man they love is a player. But shouldn't you be able to rest easy knowing that you've freed yourself of him? There should be comfort in knowing that you cut yourself off before actually falling for him, and before experiencing full on heartbreak for a man you never really had. If you cut yourself off, then at least until the next "undateable" guy comes around (because until you've found "the one", there will always be that one guy...), you're the one going to bed happy. And hopefully, he's going to bed alone.
HA. Asshole.
